Wednesday, May 22, 2013

A preview, and an assertion

"To build an audience you must first create the show."

I don't know if that's a real quote or not. I just made it up. I should have Googled first. (sidenote: is Google a proper thing now? Do we capitalize it?) Alright, anyways. Here you are, yes you. MY AUDIENCE! You make me nervous you know, I feel my palms getting sweaty. I have something to share with you, my audience. I feel like I have to share it because it's going to ease my mind to know that you've read it. 

How is it supposed to ease one's mind when they subject themselves to critics? Listen, I never said we were going to do this the straight forward way. I'm completely ass backwards and I'm aware. But, I have to do this you see. I have to share this with you. Because until this point in my life I never allowed myself to be subject to anyone's opinion of my writing. No one knew I could write, hell, I barely knew I could. So then I begin to tell people, "I'm writing a book!" and they look at me like I have a shoe horn sticking out of my nose and the boot is still in my a--.

So, here you go, here is the first chapter to a book that has been named, but I have yet to decide whether or not to share that with you. We'll see. A name is a serious thing, all ridicule starts with a name. Ask my friend Myrtle.

Without further ado: READ CHAPTER ONE 

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